#diamonds dames and dads

[kitkat-the-muffin]

In Homestuck, Caliborn claims that Derse’s prison system is so brutal that he was only able to survive due to his own masochism

This is why he tells Jane that her father is dead because he was captured by Dersites

We know Dad Egbert got away by burning Slick’s hat which gained him his favor, but Dad Crocker didn’t do that

The only reason Dad Crocker survived the Derse prison system

Is because Droog had a big crush on him

Which is hilarious

Edit: This post unexpectedly blew up so I’m back to tell everyone that the ship name is “daddroog” and I wanna see as much fanart for this as possible

[phonification]

this is a self callout

[carcinogenet1cist]

They want eachother carnally

[phonemixer]

I was gonna say something related to DD and Crocker but for some reason Tumblr really wants me to autofill my phone number.

i did draw some daddroog but then i got distracted and drew clover too for some reason

ALSO i did this with a mouse on paint so dont judge me too much

[mxs-space]

if someone told me when I started Homestuck that I would end up crave two characters making out, and those two being the alternate version of June’s dad and a mafioso anthropomorphic chess piece called Diamond Droogs…

[rayshippouuchiha]

The Lone Wolf Dies

End-Class Princess: the Other Assassin

In which Takeshi looses the plot, Kurokawa Hana ends up dragging him along with it anyway, and a dog starts to revert to a wolf.

—

The first day of middle school, Takeshi hears some classmates sniggering about a prank they played on Sawada-Chan. They seem so pleased with themselves, at the reaction that Hibari-Senpai will have when she makes it to school tomorrow. Takeshi frowns slightly. Sawada-Chan is nice. She didn’t deserve that. He resolved to try and be extra nice to her when she came back.

—

Takeshi is restless. Sawada-Chan hasn’t been at school all week. They’d had a test already, and everyone had laughed about his low scores, saying that at least he had baseball. It stung worse than usual, turning his head slightly and not seeing a distressed pair of brown eyes and wringing hands. He hadn’t realized that he kept an eye out for her, or noticed that she worried about his grades. It’s been a week, surely she’s not sick? Hibari-Senpai has been rougher than usual too.

—

It’s a month into the new school year, and it feels like he’s the only one who’s noticed that Sawada-Chan hasn’t shown up. Everyone else seems to be forgetting about her altogether, except Kurokawa-San. She occasionally glances at a particular empty desk and frowns.

—

Takeshi squints his eyes shut to hide his irritation, flashing a toothy grin. To be honest, it feels more like he’s baring his teeth. The baseball team is getting on his nerves. Before, he’d been able to work it out on the diamond, the sheer physicality and camaraderie of the team pulling together soothing him. But as the weeks drag on, it works less and less. The team favors him as a star player, but they seem to be pulling less of their own weight.

He tells himself he’s just being overly sensitive. This year has just been unusually stressful. Once he adjusts to middle school, it’ll get better.

(He glances at an empty desk, than away. He accidentally locks eyes with Kurokawa-San doing the same. Maybe he should see if she wants to talk.)

—-

Kurokawa-San seems to be the only other person who’s noticed that Sawada-Chan hasn’t been to school once. Even Sasagawa-Chan just brushes it off with a vague, “who? Oh, Dame-Tsuna! Do you think she had to go to another school for extra tutoring?” She’s nice about it, at least.

Kurokawa-San is surprised when he points out no one has seen her in town either.

“I didn’t think you paid her that much attention,” she stated. “Huh. I suppose even a monkey like you can tell what would happen if you asked her out.”

It’s not that. It’s just. He didn’t realize how much the glimpses of her had settled him down before. Right now it just feels someone is rubbing sandpaper on the inside of his skin. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, it always happens over the summer. Usually it goes away when school starts up and he can play baseball. But baseball isn’t working like it usually does. Sawada-chan’s mysterious disappearance gives him something to focus on so he doesn’t use his bat like a shinai and makes the second string players run faster.

His dad would be upset if he did that.

—-

Takeshi realizes intellectually that he should be proud to be playing an away game in his first year of middle school, even with his less than stellar grades. He’s more distracted by imaging all the ways he could really hurt people. Kurokawa is helping, a little, ever since she noticed his struggle to keep his smile up.

“Stop pushing yourself around me, like some sort of stupid monkey,” she said bluntly. “I know you’re a wolf, try not to go rabid.”

He’s pretty sure people are starting to think they’re dating, the way he seeks her out. She mostly doesn’t care, and uses it as an excuse to get away with physically grounding him. The desperate rasping inside him is growing worse.

If this keeps up, they’re both worried he’s going to kill someone. And not even Hibari-senpai is paying enough attention to notice.

(She would have.)

—-

Takeshi whips his head around as they’re escorted to the sports field. Had that been, Sawada-Chan? What would she be doing here?

—

After the game, the coach lets them wander around the market a bit, as a reward for winning. Takeshi takes him up on it, managing to shed the usual hangers-on that he has after a game. The sandpaper and chisels that have been steadily working away inside his skin are joined by anxious jangling bells. He can’t figure out what’s wrong with him.

“Yamamoto-kun?” A familiar voice rings out, puzzled.

He turns and the bells go silent, the chisels drop away from his bones, and the sandpaper pauses. Sawada-Chan is staring at him, pale amber eyes meeting his properly for once, a cloth bag slung over her shoulder. Takeshi beams at her. Oh. So this is why Kurokawa called him a wolf.

“Sawada-Chan! How have you been? Kurokawa and I have missed you,” he comes up to talk to her without hesitation. He’s almost dizzy as whatever has been clawing at him finally quiets down.

—

Eventually, he manages to convince her invite him back her place. She leads him to an apartment, tossing him concerned looks from the corner of her eye. Takeshi feels something in him preen in pleasure. He’d never noticed her do that before, but the feeling is very familiar. She has worried about him, and not because of his baseball skills.

She looks good, her shoulders held back and her gaze steady. He had never noticed her eyes were so light before, almost the same shade as fossilized amber. She’d always had her head down before. Takeshi likes it.

“I texted Rika-Chan, she said it was alright to lend you her slippers,” Sawada-Chan pulled out a pair of guest shoes for him.

They were still a little stiff, but he was too distracted by how many pairs of shoes were tidily tucked into the shelves of cubbies by the door. While she’d been gone, she’d become close enough to a lot of people, close enough to have guest slippers. He ruthlessly suppressed the urge to mess them up. What if she got mad at him and threw him out? He wasn’t ready to face the noise yet.

—

Her apartment was small, but cozy. There was a beat up old kotatsu where she was putting some tea for him, and a faded couch. There were little touches everywhere that called to mind comfort. (He liked the amateur ink painting of a puppy of some kind, tripping over its paws chasing a ball.) Takeshi was seized by the desire to roll around the whole place and never leave. A plate of dumplings, lopsided and mismatched, found themselves next to the tea.

—

Eventually, he has to go, but he managed to spend several hours talking to Sawada-Chan. She’s bolder than she used to be, but still doesn’t say much. Takeshi is pleased with himself when he manages to get her to forget to be wary and snark back at him. She even let him take a nap on her couch while she did homework leaning against it.

No wonder she’s in Kunugigaoka now. He doesn’t even know where to start, and she’s flying through the worksheets.

—-

There’s a slim hand nudging his shoulder. It’s not Kurokawa, and it’s not his otusan. His hand snaps up, snake quick, to latch onto the wrist. He misses. It’s so unusual, that he actually pauses before remembering where he was.

“Oh, sorry, Sawada-Chan!” He grins desperately. “I didn’t recognize you!” Please don’t send him away. He doesn’t want to have her shrink away from him again. He doesn’t know what he’d do if she flinched from him. Kurokawa is getting better at genuinely not flinching, even when she gets cut by the edges he can’t hide anymore.

“It’s fine,” he almost collapses as she waves it off. “But the buses are going to stop running for the night, your otousan has already called you.”

—

He gets her number before he lets himself be ushered out the door, nearly running into her neighbor who eyes him suspiciously. Not even Takeshi’s best sheepish grin erases the unfriendly look in the man’s eyes. It, probably didn’t help that he was disheveled, and still smelled a bit sweaty from the baseball game earlier. It didn’t look good, a teenage boy walking out of girl’s apartment looking like that.

Takeshi avoided his gaze and hurried to the bus depot. His otousan had been pleased that the reason he’d gone missing was running into a friend and loosing track of time, and not something, else. But he’s heard the warning to make it back tonight, and so had Sawada-Chan. She’d all but thrown him out the door, tugging on a worn pair of running shoes to lead him to the bus depot in time to catch the last bus to Namimori.

As the bus tumbled into the night, he wonders when he can make time to come back again, and how many times it will take before his shoes have a space in her entrance.

[wiriu]

i need to post on tumblr more ummm

CARAPACIANS!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! I might post more about my little earth c carapacian felt story i have planned, centered around a remake of diamonds dames and dads i have brewing in my head! involves alot of shenanigans and probably mayonaka if i can figure out something to do with him...

[jamesroach]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I've been having this issue with the beyondcanon website where whenever i'm on a page with a non standard background color (for instance, Yiffy: Lights out or Diamonds, Dames, and Dads) it causes the whole website to rapidly alternate between the two backgrounds. Just wondering if you're aware of this or if it's something on my end and not a replicable problem

this was brought up in the work chat and i believe it is on the list of things to fix about the website

[groggygrimalkin]

Snowman being alive in Diamonds Dames and Dads is so funny to me

Og

[the-troll-book-of-mormon]

i finally read diamonds dames and dads, and i was already sold on dadroog but uhhhh now i think it might be the greatest love story ever told?? an exaggeration maybe but who gave them the right to be so.... UGH! droog is so fucking gay for that man holy fuck, he just can't stop doing what he's told. and the droog/slick relationship drama! i kept having to stop our read-aloud because every line was so juicy. also haven's art is incredible as always, jesus christ. i need more like yesterday

[nekropsii]

all these midnight crew posts are so fun to read! on that note; Who's your favourite Felt and Midnight Crew member, and if you have the energy, why?

The Midnight Crew/Felt Intermission is the best part of the webcomic, bar none, and I'm saying this completely genuinely and knowing in my heart that this is objective fact. Later Homestuck arcs that rely heavily on teenage angst and romance are written like Hussie is being held at gunpoint. It's just not their wheelhouse, and that's totally fine, but I really wish people would stop acting like those are the best or most important parts of the comic, and step back from their shipping craze for a moment to appreciate Fucked Up Grown Ass Man Shenanigans, which is Hussie's bread and butter.

My favorite Midnight Crew member is Diamonds Droog. I just love the classy, cool, level-headed yet crass noir hypermasculinity paired with the insane methodical violence. As a gay man, he does things to me. You can only imagine the things that Diamonds, Dames, and Dads did to my brain.

Fuck my whole life.

My favorite Felt Members, though, are Die, Crowbar, Cans, and Clover. Die is my objective favorite, I love that weird, lanky little freak. He kind of reminds me of a twitchier, more neurotic Pickle Inspector that just spent a straight hour huffing paint or something. Cans is always a delight when he shows up, and has the funniest ability, in my opinion. Clover is the most sexual motherfucker in the ocean. And Crowbar is hot, I like him for gay reasons. He's swanky.

[youabandonedthem]

have you ever read the homestuck: beyond canon's bonus comic called diamonds dames and dads? its got the midnight crew in it

this is something somebody else asked me before and i answered it maybe 2 years ago but just for you i will tell you what i said before. and i would encourage you to do your rseearch on what has been posted on this blog in years past because when i say something once i mean it (unless i don't). and i will not be answering more redundant questions unless there is something new to be said. but its only point of appeal or even how it draws anybody in is the singular fact that it has the midnight crew in it and once you get past this it has no substance nor does it make use of any element that anyone actually enjoys about the characters or the intermission or problem sleuth. it is basically a glimpse of what the average troll/kids fan thinks the midnight crew is and what their story should be and a symptom of what happens when you put people in charge of these new homestuck storylines who aren,t creepily obsessed with the creatures/beings involved. you get....this. and we should stop talking about it quickly. we should stop talking about anything related to it and spend thistime creating instead. in fact typing this is taking me away from my long &detailed comic exploring the midnight crew's psyches. so...

[phonification]

fuck my yaoi life

[rubsjuice]

ough they're tying page 666 to diamonds dames and dads aren't they

[katrinasis]

diamonds dames and dads is so bad its really funny. its like they tried to pander to intermission fans without ever actually having spoken to one or having read the intermission before or having thought about any of those characters in ten years

[you-hate-time-travel]

Hi. What’s your opinion on Diamonds, Dames, and Dads? I personally really like it (that whole thing really was just pure fanservice for gay men, lmao) but found the ending to be lackluster.

Curious about your thoughts, though :)

HELLO HELLO HELLO! rubs claws together evilly. now THIS is a good ask.

First of all, i fucking love DD&D. Insanely good. Most of the art was just, mwah, tears of joy. Story was mostly enjoyable. Overall, i think it was genuinely REALLY REALLY GOOD, with some kinda silly flaws. A numbered list of some of my notesfollows:

Wonderful characterization. The opening narration really gets how silly DD is. Mr. Crocker is just darling too, godbless.

Timeline problems. Wow, timeline silliness? Really? Who'd'a thunk'd it. Coughs anyways. I just, Don't Get It? Like, how does Droog exist. Was mr. Crocker sent back in time to when the troll universe existed? How will he get back? How is Slick there, even though Droog is all alone like a sad wet alley cat? How the in the everloving shit is Snowman alive??? Goddamnit. Never become an intermission fan, unless you want endless headaches trying to figure out silly shit about time travel. They, like, lampshade all of it but just. ??????? Also, they completely ignore derse?? Droog mentions the first time he met Slick and just... Are they not carapacians in this? See, this is what i mean. Endless headaches.

Ouch.

(oops, the numbers restart here.)

Dialogue. Holy shit it's so good!!! I'm just. Speechless at how funny and good and insanely gay it is. Like, Really Really Really gay. Just. Wow. Adult man yaoi. Droog and mr. Crocker have some magnificent chemistry going on. This is no baking soda volcano we're handling here, kids.

The ending. Just. Sigh. It's so abrupt! Just. I've got no commentary. That's It.

You know what else has an abrupt ending? This list. Turns out there's not that much to talk about in a 46-page comic. In any case, thanks so much for the ask! I really enjoyed rereading the comic and answering. Shaking your hand etc.

^ the